Do you remember the beginning of the movie "Home Alone"? You know, the part where the house is chaotic because there are like 27 kids running around and everyone's trying to pack for France? Well I swear I was in that scene last night. Minus the trip to France, unfortunately.
I have two sisters who are both married with kids. There are five children total, and they range in age from 11 months to 10 years. We all decided to have dinner at my parents' house, but no one wanted to cook. So? We sent Dad to Taco Bell. 45 minutes and about 50 bucks later (which, mind you, is very difficult to do at TB), the food finally arrived, and we all gathered around the dining room table. That comfortably seats 6 adults.
There were 8 adults and 5 children. At one table.
We said Grace twice because the 8 and 4 year old will brawl over who gets to pray.
In no time at all, complete chaos ensues.
Shredded lettuce manages to be EVERYWHERE.
Someone steps on a packet of Mild Sauce, spraying it all over the wall.
The 10 and 8 year olds decide to sing us the Christmas play song they learned in Choir that day.
Mom #1 tells the kids to stop pounding the bottles of sparkling apple cider, pretending it's beer.
11 month old baby knocks over Mom #2's water.
And the 3 year old, whom I'm sharing a seat with, manages to spill his Pintos 'n Cheese on my lap.
Dear Merciful Father in Heaven, please take the ovaries from my body.
Then I feel someone looking at me. I look up from my bean-caked $200 jeans at Husby. He's sitting rigidly still, his eyes wide, starring at me in almost...fear, I think...with an expression that says "Ihavetogetoutofhereweareneverhavingkids-doyouthinkitstoolatetogooutforsushi-ow-someonejustelbowedmeintheeye".
What are we doing for Thanksgiving dinner again?